Joy Despite Despair

by Maureen Miller February 12, 2025

At Home, God's Word, His World 16

Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live. There I will go to the altar of God, to God–the source of all my joy. I will praise you… O God, my God! Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again–my Savior and my God (Psalm 43:3-5 NLT)!

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This morning, I woke up sad.

I don’t know why. Just felt unsettled as my eyes opened to morning–as if the weight of the world rested on my shoulders.

And I wondered–had something significant happened? Something traumatic? I even googled Historic Events on February 12. Perhaps my heart was hurting over some anniversary of sadness. (We empaths are weird that way.)

I wanted to bury myself back under covers, say no to the new day, but instead of cowering under bedclothes, I went about my routine–hoping the rote steps would lead to an emergence of joy by…

Pouring my coffee.
Making the bed.
Brushing my teeth.
Starting a load of laundry.
Refreshing my coffee.
Petting the cats.
Letting the dogs out, then back in.
Petting the dogs.
Saying my prayers.
Reading a Mary Oliver poem.
Reading twenty pages in a book, plus my devotions.
Answering several texts / emails.
Petting the cats (again).

Oh, and I read my Bible, which is also part of my daily routine. That’s when words from Psalm 43 struck me, particularly those last three verses.

And then a whisper–lyrics from a Bebo Norman song I hadn’t heard in a long time. They rang in my head–something like…

Today… I woke up sad.

Hmm. Apparently, it’s a thing.

So I pulled this song up on my phone. It’s called “Break Me Through” (Big Blue Sky, 2001), and I listened. Bebo’s reasons for being sad and lonely weren’t the same as mine, but his solution to the emotional doldrums was, and I prayed–

Father, your Word tells me you’re the Source of all joy and that my hope can be found in you. I may not feel it, but like this song reminds us, life shines with you alone. So, as the Psalmist proclaims, “Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.” Yes, may it be so!

I texted this reminder to several close friends with whom I share life’s journey, gals I thought might be encouraged by this truth. Perhaps they, like me, awoke with a heaviness of heart that just couldn’t be shaken… But God!

And how about you, friends?

Do you ever wake up sad?

The other day, a dear one shared how (s)he’d awakened from a bad dream–a nightmare, in fact. H(er)is emotions were so rattled (s)he took the day off work, and the heaviness was still with h(er)im come evening.

Truth is, this friend of ours is facing a real life nightmare. Though not what the specific dream was about, (s)he is journeying in a land of unknowns and possibilities that are reality–something from which (s)he can’t simply shake off or awake from, finding it not so.

Oh, how we wish.

Having heard of this, we shared another Psalm with hopes these words would offer comfort–

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again–my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you… each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I will sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life (Psalm 42:5, 8 NLT).

Again, how about you?

Do these words speak to your hurting, heavy heart?

I confess. They’re for me today. Just reading them, then typing them–reading them again–eases the burden a bit.

And why so heavy?

I’m not sure. Google didn’t produce anything particular, and turning on the news (though there’s always something!) didn’t affirm the reason.

Perhaps it’s just a longing–a longing for something not yet but still to come. Something for which God’s calling me–yes, us!–to desire. A hunger for the heavenly, where all things will be made new, where none of the ache will nag because…

It will be no more.

John Eldredge puts it this way in his book All Things New–Heaven, Earth, and the Restoration of Everything You Love (Thomas Nelson, 2017)–

The human heart and soul are imbued with a remarkable resilience. But they are also very fragile, for we were made for the habitat of Eden and not the desolation of war in which we now live… human beings are actually a collection of shattered “pieces”… we are fragmented beings… It is the unhappiness and isolation of our inner parts that cause so much unrest, awkwardness, and sabotage in our lives… [But] our Healer will makes us whole again… (ATN–pp. 92-93).

We were created for that which, because of sin, is Not Yet, though we still live in the imperfection of the Now. (A song from Amy Grant’s 1984 Staight Ahead album now rings in my head, and I sing along!)

The Now and the Not Yet… aha! So that’s what the unsettled emotions I experienced this morning were all about. Because my heart longs for something that’s not yet a reality but for which I yearn.

For which I was created to yearn.

And that yearning will keep me striving, pushing ahead, even when the muck and the mire I awake to some mornings try to hold me back.

Instead, with perseverance–armed with God’s Word–I must choose to forge ahead. With each step, I’ll proclaim, even through tears–

Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live. There I will go to the altar of God, to God–the source of all my joy. I will praise you…!

Yes, once again I’ll apply a truth I’ve learned (though too easily forget)–that praise is indeed my ladder out of despair.